Just Need to Air It Out

Ten years ago I was sitting in my classroom at my previous school on the verge of tears, frustrated, and disheartened.  I became a teacher to serve, to make an impact, and to use my brain and heart to grow students.  My entire life, I envisioned my classroom.  I thought of all the amazing lessons I could teach, the projects I could lead, and the students I could reach.  My dream was not my reality.  Teaching was hard.  The situation I found myself in was impossible.  The support was lacking, the innovation was stagnate, traditional structures limited what was possible, the culture was weak, and everyone felt it. I felt I was making no progress in my own practice or in my student's lives. I hated most days of that journey. After a particularly challenging day, I sat there at my computer and decided I was done.  I Googled other careers and found nothing that could get me out fast enough.  I then clicked enter on the most important Google search of my life.  I searched "innovative high schools in South Carolina."  There sat River Bluff.  A brand new school opening with an innovative vision, design, and structure.  What was this EL Education thing, I wondered?  And what in world is this flex mod schedule craziness?  I called.  I interviewed.  Three days later I was hired and making a plan to move cities and start over.  Everything changed.  

I learned all about how to turn power over in a classroom to students; how to recognize their voices, provide space for them the flourish, and design learning that empowers every student to thrive beyond what they thought possible while supporting the development of character and the pursuit of excellence.  I learned to be a collaborator, to be innovative, to consider data, to measure achievement in multiple dimensions, and to be a listener able to meaningfully respond to the needs of my students and all others around me.  I was immersed in a professional learning community that took implementation of best practice seriously and helped each other be the best that we could be for our students and our community.  Over the last nine years, I have grown so much as an educator, a learner, and a human.  I have watched a school transform from new construction and the messiness of opening to one of the best schools out there. I have watched thousands of students thrive and excel.  I have watched countless other educators, policy makers, business leaders, and community members come in to learn from us with open and amazed eyes at the possibilities that open when you design a school around the belief that students can and should lead their own learning, can manage their own time, and can be trusted to make the right decisions.  These things have been possible large in part to our partnership with EL Education that has since day one provided us a vision for teaching and learning and the resources to make it happen.  As we have learned together, built our culture, and made it all our own, we have become a strong and confident community of belonging and purpose.

Frustrated is an understatement for what I am feeling now that our work has come into question by some.  While I respect the opinions of others and will always listen, it feels like a dart through my soul to see and hear some of the commentary and assumptions being placed on our work that do not mirror the reality of teaching and learning in our building.  I'll spare the details of all that but will say with confidence that what we do in our building is best for children and for the professionals that serve them.  We are not perfect, but we are servants with good hearts and ethical practices that are consistently seeking to improve our practice and serve our children and community.  Leading through this time is challenging.  There's so much unknown, so much not being said, so much to contemplate... Most importantly, there are big bridges that need to be built imminently. Staying focused in APA projects and other initiatives is very hard right now.  There are so many other needs popping up that can't wait.  My challenge is to constantly pursue each obstacle as an opportunity to serve better and to lead better.  I have to be a better listener than ever before and I have to keep going.  As we say, the kids can't wait, y'all.  

While things feel a little rocky right now, I am grateful for progress being made related to my change project.  There are some wins in collaboration with my leadership team to plan and execute more effective decision-making opportunities.  Over the last few weeks, we have grounded in some current data points to develop three commitment priorities to collectively work towards together.  They address specific needs of our learners and if done effectively, will allow us to make some big positive impacts.  We're practicing effective teaming to meet our collectively established goals, we're talking and thinking together more, and we're aiming to meet our leadership goal consistently.  I'm excited for our progress and grateful for the space to help lead our team towards functioning at our highest level so that all students can have agency, purpose, and belonging at our school.